As I was driving past the middle and the high schools yesterday, something occurred to me; the communication between teachers and parents has a tendency to fall apart or become nonexistent by the time children reach the middle school level. Once high school rolls around, many parents don’t even hear from the school or have contact with the administrators or the teachers unless their teen gets in to some sort of trouble.
Why is that? Why do we allow the schools to dictate when they want to hear from us? Last year was my son’s first year of middle school. On every occasion in which something was going on with him, I had to initiate the conversation. In a couple of instances it was only after multiple emails were sent where I said, “Hey I called and left a message for you, I haven’t heard back…” did I get a reply. We as parents tend to think that communication at the elementary school level is important – and so do the teachers: School wide newsletters as well as classroom newsletters get sent home, we have parent teacher conferences at every grading period, and if you’re lucky enough, you get a teacher who will call you just to see if everything is OK because little Suzy or Billy isn’t quite themselves this week.
However, when we get to middle school and high school, those letters, the phone calls and the conferences come to a screeching halt. It’s now up the parents to make the first move if we want to hear about how our kids are doing. Between middle and high school more kids fall victim to drugs, alcohol and suicide than any other time. It’s when the pressure to perform, to fit in and find their own sense of self takes control.
Once the schools reopen their offices and the teachers start reporting to school to set up their classrooms, make an appointment to at least meat the teachers face to face. You want to know who they are, and you need to make your presence as your son or daughter’s advocate known. Introduce yourself and let them know that just as you expect them to have an open door policy for your child to come to them with problems, be it social or academic, you also have an open door policy for them to approach you as well. Let them know that as a parent, you have a duty to your teen to help them do their best so you may request a sit down with them if you see your teen suddenly starts having problems.
It’s their job to teach your child what they need to succeed in this world and unfortunately, it’s become our job as parents to keep those lines of communication between home and school going.
June 25th, 2008
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A new report released by a group of policymakers and education researchers have determined that without giving disadvantaged children access to health care, preschool and other programs will do little to improve their overall success in school.
No really? You’re kidding right? Wow. Whooda thunk that kids need more than education programs and big idea achievement plans to help them succeed in school?
Haven’t there already been studies that show a healthy child learns better? Haven’t we already been told that children who can attend preschool programs, after school program, and extra-curricular activities perform better in school?
If you’d like to read something you already knew but doesn’t actually offer concrete solutions and ideas, click here .
Frankly, I will wait for the cliffnotes on this one. A “Bold Approach” does nothing for me without an actual plan to back it up. Our kids will still be at a disadvantage while everyone sits around and cuts through the red tape and adds new tape just to get the policies in place.
June 12th, 2008
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You’ve made it this far.
You’re upset with the way certain policies are handed down in your child’s school and you are frustrated but beyond that you don’t know where to begin. I’m about to share the biggest and easiest way to become an activist for parents your child’s school. What can you do to make next year different? Better?
At the beginning of every school year, your son or daughter brings home a stack of paperwork 6 inches thick. You read through and sign what you must and toss the rest right?
Don’t. Look through the paperwork to see if there are newsletters from the principal, district or even your child’s teacher. They will be looking for help. Volunteers to come into the classrooms, into the school and do anything from working with a reading group or in the library to making copies and sorting and stapling.
I know it sounds like boring, mundane tasks but getting your foot inside the school door is exactly what you need to do.
If you don’t see papers like this or you get the chance to meet with your son or daughter’s teacher for the next year, introduce yourself, offer your cell phone or home phone number now and ask what help they typically need most. Teachers know what they will need and they are more than willing to get the parents into the classroom to help - even if it’s just to help staple and sort.
It’s a start.
June 10th, 2008
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Something I realized today as I went through my feeds and message boards.
I see a lot of parents taking issue with the way their school is run; they don’t like the teachers, the kids, the administration, and the rules. The number of things we have problems with seems to grow and grow but in many of the threads I read, there is little to offer in the line of help or solutions.
I’m always pleased when someone offers some great ideas on how to help a parent. My feelings of elation soon dissipate when the parent says they can’t do it because of work.
Here are my thoughts on this and someone tell me if I am wrong but… if you want change, you are going to have to go out and get it. The school is not going to change for you based on your blogging, messages or complaining to your friends.
It’s the same message we try to send our kids, if you don’t like something, you have to do something about it in order for things to get better.
But how? I can hear you asking me already –
That’s what we will work on this week. How we make the changes. How we become the activists in our schools. We must become a presence inside the halls of our children’s schools in order for administrators and teachers to take us seriously.
We have all summer and we can create a better school year for our children.
June 9th, 2008
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It seems as though that is what Georgia county school district is shooting for. Greene County is separating the boys from the girls because as it stands, keeping them together doesn’t seem to work as far as school success is concerned.
Even though they’ve been advised by a leading expert in single-sex schools the district is going to forge ahead.
OK, seriously, I suppose you could look at it with a “What more do we have to lose?” attitude but when you do that, then you are pretty much admitting that your school district can’t perform as it should.
That might be true, but it is really a reason we need to separate the boys from the girls? You can read the full article here but I would like to point out one thing that irritated me:
McCollough pointed to research showing that boys and girls learn differently, and said separating them will allow teachers to tailor their lessons. Also, boys won’t misbehave as much because they will no longer be trying to impress the girls, and the girls will be more likely to speak up in class because they won’t be afraid to look smart in front of the boys, he said.
Does anyone see something wrong with that statement? No? Alright perhaps it’s just me then…
I agree that boys and girls do learn differently but then again my boys don’t learn the same as each other. And impressing the girls aside, and girls being afraid to speak up? I think those are pretty flimsy excuses for segregating children. How are boys and girls supposed to learn to socialize with each other if they aren’t permitted to be in the same class together? I don’t understand the logic behind that and maybe someone can explain it to me.
Even though the sub-headline states that it’s a measure to also prevent teen pregnancies, I didn’t see anything in the article about those concerns. (And I’m sorry but if teens want to have unprotected sex, they don’t need to be in the same school together).
I just wonder how successful this will be. They’ve made this decision district-wide and under Federal law, the district is making this move to include every school in the district. A move which some question as being illegal because it leaves the parents with no option for coed education and that… well doesn’t that teach children much about upholding the law now does it?
June 7th, 2008
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